Vegas, Baby!
by chickarocka
Summary: Bella is about to graduate from college, she takes a trip to Vegas to celebrate and runs into some old friends. AH OCC M for safety
1. Chapter 1

**a/n- this has been floating in my head for awhile and started putting it down as a distraction when i was stuck on my other story. please review!!**

**i don't own nothing. **

Rose took two mini bottles from her purse, handing one to me and opening hers.

"You brought your own liquor for the flight?"

"This is just for the airport," she laughed.

We held them up and tapped them together. "Vegas, Baby. Vegas," she said.

..........

I could not believe it. I was finally done.

I'd taken my last final this morning, commencement was next week. In the meantime we were going to blow off a little steam. Rosalie and I were sitting in the San Jose airport ready to hop on a flight to Vegas, Alice would be joining us tomorrow, since she still had a couple weeks of classes. Rose's parents had gifted her with a trip for her, Alice and me. Must be nice to be filthy rich, but seriously, I'm not complaining. This was going to be awesome.

After graduating from Forks High School with a 4.0 and more extracurriculars than a sane person would possibly participate in I headed off to Stanford. I'd worked my ass off to earn academic scholarships and I had a partial sports scholarship as well, there was no way that Renee and Charlie could have afforded to put me through my dream school. It was a ton of work, but I'd done it. Next week I'd be a Stanford graduate. My parents were ecstatic, four years ago no one would have thought this possible.

That summer after high school graduation was the worst of my life. That was the summer he left.

Edward and I had known each other forever. Everyone was like that growing up in Forks, but with us it was, well, it was like we were meant to be. It was always like Edward was my other half. We did everything with and for each other. We'd started "dating"just before high school, and 3 days after graduating from Forks High, he told me he was leaving. He was going to spend his summer in Europe, before heading to NYU. We both knew we'd be in schools on opposite ends of the country, but we had never discussed what that meant for us.

But he had apparently thought about it. A lot. He thought it was best if we just ended things then, "a clean break". Rather than enjoy the 3 summer months together, he would go now so we wouldn't have to think about the coming end. What an ass.

It tore me apart. I spent my entire last summer before college in a haze. Alice, my best friend since forever, tried like hell to bring me out of it. She would drag me to every party in town and I'd sit in a corner the whole night nursing a beer. Then there were the girls' shopping weekends in Seattle, those were the worst, her mom Esme and her would spend ungodly amounts of money on clothing that I'd never wear since I rarely changed out of my yoga pants. Alice tried so hard that summer to make me feel whole again, looking back now I felt terrible about my behavior.

I was still a shell of myself when my parents drove me down to Stanford to move me in. My roommate was tall blond and gorgeous and completely disgusted by me and the fact that I could have cared less about my looks. We avoided each other for weeks. Then there was a party on our floor, apparently she'd had enough of some guy following her around and came back to our room to hide out. I was sitting on my bed leaning against the wall, being my reclusive self when something in my closet caught her eye.

The tag still hanging from some designer dress.

"You have this?" she asked in an accusatory tone. I reluctantly looked up, when her blue eyes caught mine, I shrugged. "And you wear those?" She gestured her long perfectly manicured fingers over me. "Every. Fucking. Day?"

"Um."

"What else is in here?" she screeched, throwing the closet door open. "Holy hell, Bela!"

My tiny dorm room closet was jam packed with clothes, tags still hanging from most. Alice had helped me pack. I bit down on my lip. Rosalie ran over to my dresser, tearing it open and rummaging through my drawers. "Why?" she accused.

"Why what?" I mumbled.

"This," she grabbed my long cardinal deck coat from the hook on the back of the door. I loved that fucking coat. I lived in it. I earned it, I should be able to enjoy it's long fluffy goodness.

"It's comfy." I stated simply.

Rosalie's eyes looked ready to pop out of her head. "And I assume that's the excuse for the stretchy yoga pants too. Or is that going to be the daily servings of ice cream in the dining hall." Her arms were folded firmly across her chest as she looked down at me.

I shrugged. I wondered if I continued to be unresponsive if she'd stop.

I guessed not when she squealed, "The tags are still on most of this." I stared at her blankly. "Isabella, this stuff was meant to be worn, not hidden in a closet."

"Bella."

"What?"

"Bella, no one calls me Isabella. Except my grandma."

"OK, Bella. What is with all this wonderful stuff in your closet and you wearing yoga pants and a deck coat all the time."

"You forgot about the tee shirts."

Rosalie rolled her eyes and lowered herself into my desk chair. "Don't get me started on the shirts." Then she laughed "Do you have any that don't say 'swim team' on them?"

"Maybe."

"Bella, you are far to pretty to dress like that. And, what acceptable sorority is going to take you when you dress like that?"

"I'm not joining a sorority."

"Yes, we are." I laughed. "What?"

"You remind me of my friend Alice back home. She's the one who bought me all that."

"What a good friend," Rosalie replied, raising one perfectly sculpted eyebrow at me.

"She was just trying to distract me."

"So what'd you bring it all here for if you weren't going to wear any of it?"

"Alice 'helped' me pack." I used air quotes as I spoke.

Rosalie smiled. "What was she distracting you from?"

"Boy trouble."

"Ah. Now I see. Some high school boyfriend broke your heart. But Bella, now were here," she gestured around her. "In college, it's a whole new ball game. And I, for one, think it's time you got out there and played."

"I'm a swimmer, not a ball player," I joked.

"You don't actually swim. You dive. And it's time you dove into life."

"Touche." I shrugged. "I used to swim."

I was a clumsy kid. Hell, I am still clumsy. But the water was the one place I felt comfortable. I used to spend all summer at the Forks pool. When I was 8 my mom started driving me to Port Angeles three times a week for lessons. It was an hour trip each way, but she never seemed to mind. I think cause it made me happy. When they renovated the pool there and got a diving tank, it was a whole new world for me. Diving was amazing I felt so free. I could do anything on the diving board. When I was accepted to Stanford and started looking into financial aid I looked into scholarships for the swim team. They sent a scout to watch me dive, then offered me a small sports scholarship and a spot on the team. I felt awesome. That was one of the best days of my life.

Of course, it was shortly followed by one of worst.

After that night, it became Rosalie's duty to bring me back to life. And I guess it worked. We pledged TriDelta together, and lived in the house there together our Sophomore year. We double dated and she enjoyed playing "dress Bella" as much as Alice did, without the insane hyper level that Alice managed spend her life in.

Our Junior year Alice decided to go to the Fashion and Design Institute in San Fransisco. So we found a house in Palo Alto and Alice moved in with us and commuted to her classes. The three of us had a great time together and worked hard and enjoyed the two years that lead us to were we are now.


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n- i'm putting links to the girls' suits on my profile if you wanna see them. **

**Enjoy!! i own nothing!**

Our plane landed just after noon and 3 o'clock found us drinking beers poolside at the Hard Rock. We figured we'd wait till 5 to move on to the hard stuff. Of course it is always five o'clock somewhere.

Rose as always was looking hot, long, leggy and tan. Her slim body barely covered in her black string bikini. The three of us had spent more than 5 hours swimsuit shopping. It was pure torture for me, with Rosalie and Alice insisting that one of my cardinal and black Speedo tanks was not going to cut it in Vegas. I'd ended up in boy shorts and a halter top bikini. My first bikini, ever.

I had to admit I looked pretty hot too, hot enough to sit next to Rose in a lounge chair and not stress.

Of course my friends had insisted that I hit the tanning salon before we left. Though I was much tanner than I had been back in Forks. Training in an outdoor pool had a huge effect on that. But, Rose and Alice had gotten a huge laugh how pale my torso was in comparison to the rest of my body. Then Alice had spent an evening a few nights ago carefully self tanning my goggle tan too. Now here I was tan all over, fit, muscular and looking nearly as sexy as Rose.

And the two of us were not going without notice as we sat and reminisced about the last 4 years.

"Hey, remember that fucktard, Mike?"

"Oh God, don't remind me," I groaned. "That was all your fault." I rolled my head back, pointing at Rose as I laughed heartily.

"He was cute. In a little lost puppy kinda way."

"Well then there must be nothing cute about lost puppies." Rose laughed with me on that one. "At least I won't have to worry about running into him once I'm living in LA."

Rose looked at me seriously. "What the hell are you going to do in LA?"

"Oh, we are so not going there. This trip is supposed to be all about celebration. Not about what comes after."

The sad truth was that I had no idea what I was going to do in LA.

I had no idea what I was going to do period.

Rose was about to graduate with a Mechanical Engineering degree, and had a job lined up at some tech company doing God knows what. Looking at her people would never have any idea how fucking crazy smart she was, she was a fucking genius with numbers. There was no way I would have passed my very basic math classes without her.

I would soon hold a degree in English with an emphasis on creative writing. Though I couldn't figure out what the hell good it was going to do me.

I wanted to write. But the likelihood was that no one would be paying me to do that for awhile. And I had a crap load of student loans to pay off. Alice was planing on heading to LA, figuring it was a good place to start in fashion. She didn't have any real plans either, but, at least she parents that would pay for her to sit around an do nothing for awhile. I'd already taken and passed one of the exams I needed in order to teach in high school, there was one more to take and student teaching. It wasn't a perfect plan, but, it was something to pay the bills.

"I really just wish you guys weren't leaving me. What am I going to do without you. Life won't be nearly as entertaining."

"Yeah, the Klutz and the Spaz have got to be pretty entertaining for the Beauty Queen." I giggled.

"Damn straight," Rose laughed, taking a swig of her beer.

A cocktail waitress stopped beside us, setting two shot glasses filled with some green girly looking drink on the table between our chairs.

Rose gave her a sneer with a raised eyebrow, "Gag," she stated. Rose was a whiskey girl. I laughed. We obviously had a good beer buzz on.

"These are from that big guy over there. You want me to send them back?"

Rose shrugged, "Ah hell, I never turn down a free drink. No matter how nasty it looks. But for future reference, Jameson. And can we get another couple of these," Rose gestured to our nearly empty beer bottles. The waitress nodded and scurried off. Rose lifted her glass to me, "To free drinks."

"Free drinks," I agreed, clinking our glasses together and throwing the shot down.

I looked up to acknowledge the sender of the drinks. His back was to us, as he was high fiving a slender blond guy. He was huge. Like a linebacker, every part of him was muscular, he looked like he probably spent hours in the gym each day. I laughed, "Look at the 'muscle man' who sent the drinks." I slapped my hand on my thigh. Rose looked up and giggled, that was just her type.

"Oh and dark curls too," she cooed.

Just then Muscle Man turned and shot us a smile. I'd know those dimples anywhere.

I jumped up. "Emmett!" I yelled. Running toward him. Emmett stood and flung myself into his arms. "Oh my God!! I haven't seen you in forever."

Emmett embraced me, nearly knocking the wind out of me. Then gave me a huge kiss on the cheek before lowering me to the ground. "Bella, Bella, Bella. Look at you. Holy crap, I can look directly at you in this light and not be blinded."

"Shut up," I slapped at his chest.

"Don't hurt yourself there Bella. You look good, real good."

"Thank you." I wiggled my tush a little bit at him, causing me to loose my footing and stumble.

Emmett reached forward grabbing and steadying me. He laughed, "Man, I've missed you Bella."

"Em," said the guy sitting with him.

Emmett turned, "Bella this is my buddy, Jasper. Jasper, this is Bella. She's a friend of my sister."

Jasper nodded at me, "Hey. Shot?" There were three shot glasses of tequila on the table.

"Hells yes! This is way better than that shit Emmett sent over earlier."

"I thought girls like that kind of shit."

"Not this girl." I said grabbing the salt shaker.

"So where is my sister?" Emmett asked.

"Her flight comes into tomorrow morning, she had a final presentation this afternoon. And we weren't holding our party off on account of her. To Alice," I said clinking glasses with Jasper and Emmett. I licked the salt off my hand, threw back the shot and shoved a slice of lime into my mouth. I shuddered a bit at the burn of the alcohol. "That's what a shot is supposed to do to ya."

Emmett smiled at me. "Alright, Jazz. We should head in if were gonna make those reservations."

Jasper stood and held his hand out to me. "Jasper, it was nice to meet you," I said shaking his hand.

"Yeah we should hang out later tonight," he said before shooting Emmett a quizzical look. When I looked over at Emmett, he looked like his eyes were about to pop out of his head.

"I'll walk you back over to your friend. Meet you up in the suite Jazz." Emmett put an arm around my shoulders.

"Shit Bells, you grew up nice, in the last couple of years." He looked around, "I'd love to punch several of these guys in the face for the way they're looking at you. Is Alice going to be as scantily clad as you? Cause I'm not sure I could handle every guy at the pool staring sex at both my little sisters, one is bad enough."

I smiled widely at Emmett, "I've missed you too, Em."

He stopped walking. "I have to be honest with you Bella. He's here too."


	3. Chapter 3

**a/n- to those of you who have reviewed thank you so much, it gives me warm fuzzys to know you're enjoying this. i'm havin' fun writing it. **

**i own nothing.**

Emmett's words echoed in my head.

He was here too.

Really I knew that. It was only logical. Emmett and Edward had been friends as long as Alice and I had. "I'm gonna need another drink."

Emmett laughed. "Bell if you don't wanna see him, you won't. I'll make sure of it."

"Does he know I'm here?"

"I'm guessing yes. He headed up to his room about a minute before I saw you. He didn't say anything, but he was acting kinda weird."

"Oh great, so seeing me makes men act weird?"

"Oh no Bella, don't, no. Shut up. Fuck, Bella, I so didn't say that." I quirked an eyebrow at him. "Bella, it's just," he paused. "Never mind."

Emmett stood there his mouth shut tightly, staring at me. I stared back. Finally he shrugged. "So who's the blond?"

"Emmy, you don't stand a chance."

"Ouch, that hurts," he held his hand to his chest, "right here." A smile lit his face and I laughed.

"Bitch get your ass over here," Rose yelled.

I held my hands up like one of the girls on The Price is Right presenting a prize. "What, you want this?" I used my arms to press my boobs together and create some cleavage, then did a little shimmy.

Emmett closed his eyes tightly and covered his face with one of his large hands. "I can't fucking watch this."

I jumped into my lounge chair beside Rose. She dropped her head back and rolled it toward me, then pulled her hand up around her mouth. "Who's the giant?" she stage whispered.

"Rose this is Emmett. Alice's brother. Em," I threw my hands up near my face in and flashed some fake gang signs and I moved my head from side to side, "this is my partner in crime, Rose."

"Shit Bella, how much have you had to drink already? I'm sure the Chief wouldn't approve."

My eyes fell on the table between Rose and I, there were 4 shots ready and waiting. I grinned, "Apparently, not enough." I grabbed one of the glasses, "What is it?" I asked Rose.

"Jameson, baby. You know me."

I grabbed one of the glasses and held it up, "It'll do baby." I clinked my drink together with Rose's and threw back the shot. Grimacing and shuddering.

"Come on, it burns so good," Rose said.

I simply shook my head at her. I threw my hands out and looked up at the sky, "Emmy, I'm out of the Chief's jurisdiction." I picked up the next glass and held it up to Rose, nodding before clinking it with hers and knocking it back.

"Bell, give me your number, I'll call you later." I grabbed his phone out of his hand and tapped in my number and saved it. Then hit the camera button, I held it out in front of me pointing it down at my chest and pulling on the front of my bikini top. "Fuck. No. Bella." Emmett yelled throwing his arm out and trying to snatch the phone back. I threw my head back in a laugh.

"Emmy, buy me another drink or I take pictures of my boobs."

"I forgot what a fucking crazy ass drunk you are."

"She's not even drunk yet," Rose replied with a laugh.

I nodded and scrunched up my face, "She's right."

Emmett closed one eye and pointed at me, "I'll be calling you later."

"Yeah, but are you getting me a drink now. You owe me." I pouted and lifted my shoulders, "Bad news."

"OK, it's not bad news. But I'll do you one better and put you on my room tab."

I threw my arms up over my head and shouted, "Free drinks all night!" Rose shouted out a very girly whoo-hoo and gave me a high five. Emmett could do nothing but laugh.

"Love ya Bells," Emmett said, leaning down over me and embracing me one of his huge bear hugs.

"I've missed you, Emmy Bear," I whispered into his ear.

"Same here." Emmett began to pull away, "Him too," he added. I rolled my eyes. Emmett took one of his large fingers and pushed into my forehead pushing my head back slightly. "You don't know. I'll talk to you later."

I pointed a finger at him, "I'll be sure to be drunk then." Emmett laughed. Then took both hands and extended his pointer fingers with his thumbs up, in the shape of guns, which he fired off. "Rose," he tipped his head back, before turning and walking away.

Rose and I burst out in hysterics. "OK, I need a lot more alcohol."

"I thought Alice had a twin?"

"That was him."

"Fuck no!" Rose laughed, I nodded at her in answer. It was pretty hard to believe that Andre the fucking Giant over there was the twin of the dark haired Tinkerbell. They were fraternal, obviously.

Alice was extremely petite, smaller than me which said a lot, where as Emmett was huge, tall and muscular. Their personalities were pretty opposite too, Alice was hyper active and could rarely sit still, where Emmett was very laid back and mellow. What they did share was their jet black hair, golden eyes, and their mother. Their dad, Phil, was a former pro ball player who now coached in Florida. He was absent from their lives since they were 4, except for cards filled with cash and on birthdays and holidays.

Esme, their mother, had a great attorney. If I ever needed to get divorced, I was getting his number. With the child support, which wouldn't stop till the twins hit 25, and her alimony, let's just say she didn't need to work. But she did, she was the art teacher at Forks High. Esme also was one of the most loving and accepting people I'd known in my entire life, a trait that had been past on to both her children.

"How do you think Al would take it if I fucked her brother?" Rose asked.

"Ugh, don't make me vomit."

"B, he's fucking hot."

"Emmett is practically my brother too."

Rose's only answer was to break out in laughter. "More drinks," she cried.

"Oh yes. Where's the waitress?" We flagged down the waitress and ordered Long Island Iced Teas and 2 shots of tequila.

"So, B, what's the 'bad news'?"

"Oh," I slurred slightly, "Edward is here too."

"The Edward?"

"The Edward." I nodded.

Rose frowned, "Did you see him?"

"No. Apparently he headed up to his room before Emmett saw me. Emmett thinks that he must have seen me though."

The waitress returned with our drinks, "Hey we're gonna need like 4 more of these," Rose said. "Hell Bells, it's five o'clock somewhere." Rose shook her head, and pick up one of the tequila shots, "To five o'clock."

"To five o'clock," I agreed tossing back yet another shot.

When five o'clock rolled around in Vegas, Rose and I were fucked up. Hooting, hollering and slurring every word. "Shit Bella, were gonna be in bad shape in a couple of hours."

"Ro, I'm in bad shape now." Rosalie laughed. "I think we should eat. Where's a fucking Mickey D's?"

"No! We're in Vegas, we're not having McDonald's."

"But their french fries are so yummy. And sobering."

"Come on B, let's get dressed and get something to eat."

Rosalie and I returned to our suite to shower and change. I was fully aware at this point that it was way too early to be this drunk. I knew I had to get some food in me soon or I was going to be face down passed out in the next few hours and that was not how I wanted to spend my first of 3 nights in Vegas.

I showered quickly, since the warm water was starting to make me sleepy. Rosalie had hung a garment bag inside my bathroom. I assumed this was what I was supposed to wear. When I opened it my jaw hit the floor. It had to be a dress, because there weren't any pants in the bag, but it was short as shit. She had to be fucking with me. Between my natural clumsiness and my drunkenness, some lucky guy would be getting a shot of my ass tonight.

After almost 4 years together, I knew better than to question though.

When Rose had first discovered my wardrobe she'd tried dressing me one day. When I refused, she'd taken everything I owned and stashed it somewhere when I was out. Then everyday she laid out an outfit for me to wear, right down to my underwear. Until I decided to dress in a way she found appropriate. It was 2 weeks before she trusted me to try and pick my own clothes, 6 weeks more till she let me do so without supervision.

I chuckled to myself at the memory, then checked the hanging bag for undergarments. Sure enough they were in there. She'd gone easy on me there, since the dress had cut outs in the back, she'd given me one of my favorite Victoria's Secret convertible bras and a pair of lacy boy short panties. I blew dry my hair, dressed and applied a bit of make-up. I exited the bathroom weary of Rosalie's shoe choice which I had yet to see, and fully aware that I either needed to eat or start drinking again so I wouldn't pass out right then.

"Rose your dress is totally longer than mine! Not fair!" I shouted at her.

Rose looked fucking sexy as hell, like usual. In a fitted cream colored dress with a cherry print, it was something that only she could pull off. Her dress came down to the very top of her knee, where mine barely reached mid thigh. "If there is any chance of running into The Edward tonight, you are going to look like walking sex, that's why you're wearing that. Now come here so I can fix your hair and make-up."

"I thought we were just going to eat."

"Yeah, well. We're hitting the Strip to eat and who knows. And since we don't know when were coming back here, we're gearing up now."

When Rosalie was happy with her handy work we headed down to the lobby and got a cab to the MGM Grand. After asking around we'd found that they had a great diner for burgers and fries.

"So, The Edward is here, huh?"

I rolled my eyes, "Yup."

"And?"

"Emmett said he'd keep him away from me, if that's what I want."

"And is it?"

"Oh God Rose, I don't know."

I really didn't. In the last 4 years I had talked to Edward once. It was last Christmas when I was home on break. I'd seen him at the market, I had gone in to pick up a few things with my mom, he was at the register checking out. I grabbed my mom's hand and turned around and walked at of the store. Lucky for me my mom is understanding and didn't question, we went home. Edward called my parents house that afternoon, and that evening, and the next day. My dad told him to stop calling, I didn't want to talk to him, so he showed up and parked across the street. He would sit there for hours. Then he started showing up places I went. Like the pool in Port Angeles at 7 am when I went for a morning work out.

Finally my dad, the town's Chief of Police, told him he'd have to arrest him for stalking. I guess more had been said than just the threat of arrest, because later that night my dad suggested I talk to Edward. Just hear him out, he told me. Christmas Eve he caught me of guard.

He called the house and I answered. "Please, Bella. Please just 2 minutes. Talk to me." I caved. His Volvo was parked in front of my house, he was standing beside the passenger side door holding it open. I climbed in out of the rain as he ran around to the driver's side.

"Two minutes," I said.

"I'm still in love with you."

"Alright, times up." I got out of the car shutting the door, trying to block the sound of his voice begging me to stop, listen, come back. I never told Alice or Rose about it. I didn't want them questioning my response. I didn't want to think about how I felt about Edward. And in the last 5 months I hadn't thought about that night, till Emmett said that Edward was here too.

"Rose I really don't know."

"It's OK Bella. Let's eat and we'll see where the night goes."

**a/n- btw mc d's fries are very sobering! perfect for the halfway point if your bar hopping :) and i'm a tequila girl myself.**


	4. Chapter 4

**a/n- thanks to flora73 and lilquackers77 for your reviews! and to everyone that's added this story to your alerts or favorites, it's great to know your reading and enjoying :)**

**lilquackers77, here's your epov. this was a challenge so i hope it lives up to everyone's expectations! review and let me know!**

**disclaimer- i can't claim anything.**

EPOV

My head was throbbing. I rolled on to my back and ran my fingers through my hair, closing my eyes tight to try and block the red haze though my eyelids that told me the sun was up. I stretched my arms wide, lowering it back them back to the bed I felt a warm body beneath my right arm.

_Shit_, I thought to myself. Opening my eyes wide, staring up at the celling. I instinctively shut them again against the burn of the daylight, then opened them again, reaching up and fisting my hair. I stared blankly at the celling. _What the fuck happened last night_?

I finally willed myself to look over at the girl sleeping beside me. Her back was to me and she was wearing only a pair of my fucking boxer briefs. _Fuck_, it was very possible that I had sex with her. _Fuck, fuck, fuck._ This wasn't happening. I hoped I'd used a condom, hoped I hadn't actually slept with her. This was not how I wanted this to happen. I wasn't saving myself per se, I was just waiting for the right time, with the right girl. This wasn't it. This wasn't her. _Fuck_.

Her dark hair was wild across the bed and littered with white fluffy stuff. _What the fuck are those? Feathers_? I realized the bed and surrounding floor were covered in feathers. _Fuck, my fucking pillows_. I always brought my own down pillows whenever I slept anywhere, it was weird, but it helped me sleep better. Now my pillows were destroyed and I have no idea why.

I groaned and closed my eyes again, staring back toward the ceiling. At the sound of my groan she stirred slightly. I should get out of the bed, I didn't want her thinking this was more that drunken sex. I swung my legs over the side of the bed, before slowly raising myself into a sitting position. Fuck my head hurt. I glanced back over my shoulder, deciding to take one last look at this girl, so I'd have some details to give to Emmett and Jasper. That's what guys did, right?

If it had to go down like this, I guess I had done pretty well. This girl's body was amazing, she was slender but had curves in all the right places. Her hips rounded out just enough to make her look womanly instead of looking like a little girl, and her ass was perfectly round and firm. Her whole body was firm and muscular, and tan, like she belonged lounging on a beach somewhere. I couldn't see her breasts from this position, but planned on telling Em and Jasper that they were huge if I didn't get another look at them. I had to assume I'd seen them last night.

Suddenly she stretched an arm up over her head. "I'm not wearing that," she mumbled. I almost asked what she was saying when I realized she was talking in her sleep. I chuckled silently, Bella had done that.

Wait a minute. I leaned toward the nearly naked girl lying beside me, holding my breath.

_Oh shit_!

I was wrong about one thing, this was the right girl.

Her eyes were still closed in sleep, but I knew when they opened they would be a deep chocolate brown I could easily get lost in. Her lips were a soft pink, and though they stood out less on her heart shaped face now that she was so tan, they were still perfect and I wanted more than anything to press mine against them. She was easily the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen in my life and I was deeply in love with her.

I jumped out of the bed, fighting the urge to wrap my naked body around hers, hold her close to me and kiss her everywhere, repeating over and over again how much I truly loved her. I walked backward into the bathroom not wanting to tear my eyes off of Bella's beautiful body. Bella. Bella in my bed. I had to be dreaming. I would wake up any minute. I ran my hair through my hair, before finally turning my back to Bella and heading into take a shower.

I stood there in the stream of hot water trying to remember the finer points of the day before.

I had seen her drinking with a blond by the pool in the afternoon. Seen her. Ha. I swear I felt her. Sitting there I felt a magnetic pull, a need to look up and to my left. I did and there she was. My beautiful Bella all tanned and toned in a bikini, it was more of her than I'd ever seen at one time and it was on display for everyone. Men were looking at my Bella, and I remembered, she wasn't mine anymore. Hadn't been for a long time. I gave Emmett and Jasper some lame excuse and got up and left.

I hid out in my room for awhile, sitting there with a black box in my hand, absently flipping the lid open then closed. I'd carried that box with me for almost 4 years. I was completely lost in thoughts of Bella till Emmett came barreling through the door connecting our rooms. I hastily shoved the box under a pillow and reminded myself to lock that door later.

"I just talked to Bella, but I'm sure you knew that didn't you?" Emmett asked me.

I shrugged, "I thought you might."

"Edward this was your chance and you ran away."

"My chance at what Em?"

He grinned, "Bella." Emmett the fucking incurable optimist.

"I don't have a chance." I shook my head at him. I knew that as much as I loved her there was no chance of her ever feeling the same way again.

Thankfully Emmett had let the conversation go when Jasper knocked on the door. I'd met Jasper a few times, he was Emmett's friend he'd met while at The University of Texas. Jasper having finished up a history degree was looking to teach high school and relocate. Hence this trip, Jasper had a job offer in Seattle, I had large apartment and an extra room, Emmett thought this would be a good way to get to know each other.

We showered, dressed and headed out for our dinner reservations. Emmett had insisted on doing Vegas right. That kid had seen Swingers way too many times. Suits were required attire. Mine was black, charcoal button down and a gray tee underneath, no tie. We were having Kobe steaks and lobster at the Grand, then a limo would take us to Fremont Street to check out old Vegas. Emmett was like a big kid, he couldn't vacation without doing it all. Trips with him were exhausting.

With my coat draped casually over my shoulder we exited the restaurant and stepped into the nearest bar for a scotch. In the bar I felt it again. She was here. I exhaled slowly, ignoring the pull. Not that it would matter if I looked or not, Emmett would spot her soon. I downed my scotch and ordered another. I needed to be really drunk, really fast. I'd ordered number three before Emmett spotted her.

He elbowed me roughly, "Eddie," he jerked his head up, pointing his head in the direction of the magnetic pull I still felt. I rolled my eyes at him, before giving in and turning around.

_Holy shit!_

The dress was short, thin white fabric with lace crossing her back. It plunged low on her chest, lightly covering her perfect breasts then flowing loosely over her small frame, leaving just enough to the imagination. I groaned lightly as my eyes ran over her, my hand ran through my hair. Bella's heels gave length to her slender legs. And I was thankful weren't too high as I knew how clumsy Bella could be, and I knew the alcohol would only worsen that.

And Bella was drunk. I'd seen her drink before, at parties back in high school, but never like this. She was swaying, squealing and laughing crazily with her blond friend. She was loudly enacting some story, and reached both arms up over her head causing her dress to shoot up several inches, inches that her dress couldn't bear to go up. At this a man near the girls approached. I swear I let out a growl, just as I saw Emmett fly across the bar toward her. He blocked my beautiful Bella from my view, and also thankfully the view of most of the bar.

I ordered another drink. Placed my elbows on the bar and my head in my hands.

Usually at this point of the night, I'd be feeling pretty good, less inhibited, less Edward. But not tonight. Not with Bella right there, her arms wrapped tightly around the neck of my best friend. Hanging there with Emmett's huge hands on her waist, causing the short dress to rise again, one fraction of an inch and her ass would be visible. Jealously flared inside me instinctively, I knew Emmett wasn't competition, I knew the odds of Bella saying more that one word to me were slim. I pinched the bridge of my nose my fingers, before lifting my glass and draining my glass.

Jasper joined Emmett and the girls. Bella grinned at him widely in greeting, falling out of Emmett's arms and stumbling forward. The shared a round of shots before Emmett, shot me a dark look and waved me over.

I drained another glass and stood. Fuck. I was drunk. My legs felt heavy as I dragged myself across the bar. Emmett stared as I approached, "What the fuck dude," he hissed under his breath. I shrugged sheepishly in response. "Bell, Rose. We've got a limo waiting to head downtown, wanna come with us?"

The two girls grinned at each other, then Bella's friend caught sight of me. "Is this the Edward?" she attempted to whisper. Bella turned her head, seeing me her smile slowly faded from her face. Then returned quickly when she turned back to her friend.

"Rosalie Hell," Bella slurred, "this is the Edward."

"Ah, the Edward, so," she paused, "Hum, interesting, yeah, interesting to meet you." Rosalie and Bella burst out laughing. I ordered one last drink, before we headed out.

This is where my memory unsurprisingly gets fuzzy. I remember sitting beside Bella in the limo, her thigh touching mine occasionally, made it hard to think as did the alcohol. As we neared our destination, Bella lulled her head backward on the seat closing her eyes.

"You're not fucking passing out on me now bitch!" Rosalie yelled, throwing herself into Bella's lap.

"Oh my God, Ro." Bella's head snapped forward and her eyes flew open, she draped one arm across Rosalie's lap. She looked over at Emmett who eyes were about to pop out of his head. "Hey Em, Rose wants to fuck you, but is afraid Alice won't like it." Bella slurred.

"No one has to tell Alice," Emmett responded with a laugh.

"Alice would know," I said.

Bella's head swiveled toward me. She looked surprised, as though she had forgot I was there. As she looked at me her eyes filled with sadness. It hurt in my chest to look at her, but I couldn't tear my eyes away. "The Edward," she said softly, "You broke my fucking heart."

My stomach rolled as I remembered. I heaved, then jumped out of the shower making it to the toilet just in time.


	5. Chapter 5

**a/n: thanks for all the reviews last chapter! this chapter felt like it took forever to get figured out. hope ya'll like it.**

**i don't own twilight- well i've got a copy of the book and the movie, but the story isn't mine :(**

The room was spinning. Bile was rising in my throat. My head was throbbing. The sunlight was burning my eyes before I could even open them. I wanted more than anything to cover my head and not move for the rest of eternity, but my rolling stomach wasn't going to allow that.

I forced one eye open. Ugh, not a good idea. I cringed, closing my eyes tightly and shaking my head slightly. Oh God, that was worse. Fuck. Wait a second where the fuck am I. I opened both eyes this time. Shit, this was not my room. But I didn't have much time to dwell on that as my stomach lurched. I spotted a trash can near the bed, grabbing it the excess alcohol from last night exited my system.

I flopped back on the bed and looked around me. Fuck. Seriously, this was not my room and the only thing I had on were some dude's boxer briefs. I had way, way too much to drink last night. I could hear a shower running behind the closed bathroom door. I needed to get the fuck out of here. Now.

I sat up slowly, my head pounding and stomach still unsettled, scouring the room for my clothes. I quickly spotted my dress laying across the top of the dresser. I jumped up to grab it. Fuck another bad idea, my head fucking hurt plus I guess I was still pretty drunk. I stumbled forward catching the side of an chair and righting myself quickly but without any grace. I grabbed my dress and pulled it on, dropping random hook-ups boxer briefs. I did not need any mementos of last night.

Mentally I readied myself for the walk of shame, looking around the room once more for my panties. No luck. This would not be the first time I'd done the walk of shame. Nope, not this girl's first rodeo. Though typically, I hadn't actually done anything to be ashamed of. I often crashed on my buddy Jacob's couch after a night of drinking. There was something magical about that couch, I never woke with a hangover when I slept there. Of course his roommates thought there was more going on. They nicknamed the walk of shame the Bella stroll, it seemed I drug myself out of their apartment at least one morning every weekend. In reality Jake and I had sex once and were were both sober at the time. It was bad. We tried dating. It was bad. So friends it was.

Damn, I wished I had woke up on Jake's couch. There's something comforting about knowing where the hell you are when you wake up.

There had to be something worse than "walk of shame". Something that said, I have no idea where I am and I don't have my fucking underwear either. Maybe something like "hike of remorse" or "promenade of ill repute". No, I got it "amble of degradation". That's what I was going to do.

Fuck, I'm a fucking moron.

I put my hand on the door knob. Shit. Shoes. I'd worn a pair of Rose's Jimmy Choo's. I needed those shoes if I came back without them Rose would fucking kill me. I looked back over my shoulder quickly. Oh, there, under the bed. I scurried over quickly grabbing the shoes and running back for the door.

My hand was on the handle of the door when a velvety smooth voice came from behind me, "Don't you need these?" I hadn't even noticed that the shower had stopped. I turned, my fucking stomach fell to my feet when I saw his emerald green eyes. Oh Shit. This did not fucking happen. His bronze hair was still dripping from his shower, he reached his hand up and shoved his wet hair back as he extended his other toward me, hooked over his long index finger my bra and panties dangled.

I grabbed them, tore the door open and bolted.

"Bella, wait," he yelled after me. Coming out into the hall, in a pair of boxer briefs like the ones I'd woken up in and wife beater. Fucking sexy as all hell.

I ran into the elevator, slamming my finger on the L button repeatedly.

Once the doors closed I leaned against the wall of the elevator, tipping my head back and breathing deeply. After a moment I pulled my panties back on. Fuck. It occurred to me that at least I knew where I was now. Since I knew he was with Emmett and Emmett was at the Hard Rock, like us. When I the elevator stopped, I hit the button for Rose and my floor.

Holy fuck, I slept with Edward Cullen last night.

Not that sleeping with Edward hadn't been something I wanted. Years ago I would have given anything to have sex with Edward. He was never willing to take it that far though. It just was never "right" in his words. Fuck, apparently I was just never drunk enough before.

The elevator stopped and a couple in their early thirties got on, I felt their eyes roving over me. I was looking my Saturday night worst. I was a fucking mess, shoes and bra still hanging from my hand, hair everywhere and matted with feathers, which I really didn't understand. Luckily they got off one floor later I'm sure trash talking me as soon as the doors shut, hell it's what I would have done.

Something seriously fucked up had happened the night before, but the details were hazy at best. With some of the low-lights of the night before coming through clearer. Rose and I's very loud, off key and slightly inappropriate performance of Jason Mraz's Geek in the Pink on the streets of Vegas, was one of those. OK, probably more than slightly inappropriate, but if there's an appropriate way to sing the line "she can get her toys out of the drawer" I'd be impressed. Besides it was Rose and I and that choreographed little number is one of our drunken night trademarks. And if I am remembering that clearly Emmett loved it.

Right, Emmett had been there. When did that happen? For the life of me I couldn't remember calling Emmett or running into him, just him being there and his friend from the pool too. I shook my head slightly trying to jog my memory. No luck. I guess that's what having like five shots before five o'clock and continuing to drink well into the night gets you. I hadn't been that drunk in a good long while and part of me wanted to vow not to do it again, of course the devil on my shoulder was telling me what a good time I am when I'm drinking. Damn you little devil, you did this.

As the elevator reached my floor an unsettling feeling fell over me. It dawned on me that Alice would be here soon. Did Alice know Edward would be here this weekend? Lately it seemed like Alice might try and engineer something just like this. When she'd moved in with Rosalie and I she started mentioning Edward at every opportunity, always trying to remind me of the wonderful times Edward and I had spent together. It was odd, since Alice had been nearly as upset and hurt as I was when Edward left. None of us knew, not even Emmett knew what he was planning.

I had an early morning practice the day he left and had drove my rusty old pickup straight over to the Cullen's afterwards, parking in their long driveway and letting myself in. His mom, Elizabeth, wasn't home, I thought that was odd. His dad, Carlisle was the head doctor at the hospital in town and worked a lot, but Elizabeth was a teacher like Alice's and my moms, so she was off for the summer. I found Edward in his room, his largest camping pack out and clothing strewn across his usually spotless room. His back was to me, as I flopped myself onto his bed, laying on my stomach my head propped on my elbows, "You and Emmett going camping this week?"

"Bella." He turned quickly, startled by me. Edward's eyes closed and he reached up and rubbed at the bridge of his nose, when his eyes opened they were full of sadness. "We should talk."

I was instantly anxious, that was not a good start to a conversation. He put down the shirt he was holding and I followed him down the two flights of stairs in his parents large Victorian home. He continued walking out the front door till he was standing beside my truck. "I'm going to Europe," he stated, his voice was off, his tone was almost cheerful but it just wasn't some how.

"Your what?"

"I'm gonna backpack through Europe for a few months," he shrugged like it was no big deal.

"When are you leaving?"

"Tonight. Well, my parents are taking me to the airport in Seattle this afternoon."

I felt like someone who had hit me in the chest. "How long have you been planning this?" Edward never did anything spur of the moment, it took him 5 minutes to decide what to eat at McDonald's, a half an hour to decide to buy a pair of jeans, there was no way he just up and decided to go to Europe for a few months.

He shrugged again, "I've been thinking about it for awhile, I guess."

I couldn't decide whether to be hurt that he was leaving or angry at his nonchalance, his next response would decide that. "Why?" I asked.

"Bella we've been together since junior high. I don't really think it's fair to either of us to go off to college feeling tied to each other. You know?" He paused as if he expected me to agree, I felt my lower lip quiver and my eyes sting with the forming tears, but I couldn't say anything. Hurt it was. "It will be better if this is it. I'll leave now, you'll be in California by the time I get back, then I'll head to New York," he shrugged again. It was a gesture that I'd never really thought much about, I hated it now, it seemed too casual to be tied to this conversation. He pulled open the door of my truck, "I need to finish packing."

"What?" I breathed.

"I need to move forward, and I can't if this," he extended his index fingers and waved his hands between the two of us, "is still holding me."

I could hardly breath, I was couldn't think, I heard the words he had said but they really didn't make any since. I climbed into my truck, he leaned in and brushed his lips softly against mine, which were still gaped open slightly in shock. I should have argued him, questioned him, something, but I didn't. He shut the truck door once my body was clear, then turned back toward his house. I turned the key in the ignition, my trucks engine roaring loudly to life as I stared straight ahead in a daze.

"Bella," I heard him yell, I turned my head looking in the direction he'd gone. He was standing midway to doorway, his eyes still sad but the corners of his mouth forced up into a half smile. "Be safe," he called, as he always did when parted company. Then he turned and ran the last few yards to his door, disappearing into the house, I threw my truck in gear and drove straight to Alice.

After hours of confusion and attempts to console, Alice sent Emmett over to the Cullen's to try and see what the hell was going on, but no one was home. Alice was nearly as crushed as me then, but I knew that she and Edward had been back in touch several months after I'd left for school. He'd ended up at UW the second semester of his freshman year and often spent weekends in Forks, so him and Alice had sometime together and were now friends again. I was pretty sure they were in contact on a regular basis since she'd moved to Palo Alto with me, but she never said anything about it.

I swear if Alice had known anything about this she was going to burn in one of the circles of hell, the one reserved for traitors. I wish I could remember which one it was, hell I wished I could remember a lot right now.

When I got to the door of our suite I realized I didn't have my key card, or my cell phone or my wallet. I mentally wrote it all off as a loss, there was no way I was going to ask Edward for any of it back. I knocked on the door hoping that Rosalie was awake, it was nearly 11, so there was a chance.

On the second knock the door flew open, my hand still hanging in the air. "Oh my God, Bella!" Rose gasped out, grabbing me and pulling me into a tight embrace.

"Ugh, Rose. Too fast, too tight." I extricated myself from her hold and ran for the bathroom, barely making it as my stomach was still protesting about the vast amount of alcohol I had consumed the night before.

"Where the hell have you been?" Rosalie asked from the doorway. "I was so fucking worried."

I groaned, and stumbled toward the sink. "What the fuck happened last night?" I turned on the cold water, cupping my hands and tossing water on to my face. Taking several sips of it I swished it around in mouth, then spit it out.

"You got fucked up."

"No shit."

I brushed my teeth before we walked back out the the lounge area. I dropped myself on to the couch, laying my head back and closing my eyes, while Rosalie, ever graceful, lowered herself to a chair. "Bella I was seriously about to call you dad. You left your phone in the limo so I couldn't call you."

"Limo?"

"Yeah, we went with Emmett, Jasper and the Edward in the limo to downtown?"

"I slept with Edward."

"What?" Rosalie shouted. I winced at her volume.

"Well I'm assuming. I woke up in his underwear."

"Fuck. I knew I shouldn't have let you go with him. How dare he?" Rosalie was seething, her low hiss dripped with malice. Edward had better watch out cause a pissed off Rose was not pleasant. She could hold a grudge like no one else and already hated Edward from how hurt I was when she first met me. She'd never even met him, but she was a truly loyal friend.

Rose would do anything to pull me away from thoughts of Edward, to make me whole and happy again. Eventually I was happy again. It took time but it happened. And if Rose ever caught me being too introspective and she figured thoughts of Edward were to blame, she'd call me out. "The Edward again?" she'd ask, before pulling me out to do something, anything, un-Bella like. Usually involving vast amounts of alcohol, choreographed dancing and crazy dares.

The Edward, was like an unwanted disease as far as she was concerned. Something I had caught and she was helping me to get rid of. And it got to the point where, The Edward, while not gone was something I could ignore. I was happy, not quite whole, but happy.

"I feel sick," I groaned.

"Is it the alcohol or The Edward your hungover from?" I growled at her. "Let's go get something to eat, Alice will be here soon."

"I should probably get dressed." Rose eyed me up and down, cocking one eyebrow at me she nodded. Hurrying into the bathroom I showered quickly, and dressed in the denim skirt and tank that Rosalie had placed in the bathroom. "Am I going to dress myself at all this trip?" I asked when I came out of the bathroom.

"Not a chance," Rose replied.

The two of us headed down to the casino level and found a place to eat. I ordered a huge plate of pancakes and hash browns, hopeful that all the starch would help get my stomach back in order, with Alice arriving soon, I knew we'd have an busy day ahead of us. As we waited for our food, I decided to risk the subject of what had happened last night, asking Rosalie, "What the fuck happened?"

"Bella, I am so sorry," she started.

I shrugged, "Worse things have happened I guess." I laughed loudly, "I can remember a few failures of the buddy system that were my fault."

Rose blanched, "Let's not go there." She paused, collecting her thoughts, then she let out a sigh, "We were totally fucked up."

"That much I've figured out," my head was lolled to the side, resting on my hand as I leaned my elbow on the table.

"Yeah, well. I don't really remember everything, but, Emmett and Jasper were playing poker and we were hanging out. Then Edward came back from the bar and wanted to talk to you. And I said no, you were drunk and I thought you might regret something in the morning." Rose's eyes had been glued to the table, now she looked up at me sheepishly attempting to smile slightly. "Understatement?" I let out a short laugh. "I yelled at him, told him to stay the fuck away from you, but then Emmett was telling me it was OK, and you seemed OK with it. Then it was like way later and Emmett called Edward and he told me you were OK that you'd gone back to the hotel. Bella I'm so sorry."

I laid my head back on the seat, "I fucked Edward Cullen." I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face and the heat that flowed through my body.

**a/n: so glad bella seems a little happy about the fact she slept with edward, i would be :) **

**starofthenight819 i tried to get into a little more of what happened between edward and bella, but i think anymore of that will have to come from edward, his pov should be back next.**


	6. Chapter 6

EPOV

Bella had left, ran out of here like the room was on fire, leaving me standing alone in the hall watching the elevator door shut. I guess I kind of deserved that. Defeat was evident in my face, my posture, in every fiber of my being as I slumped back into my room shutting the door softly behind me. Pawing through my suitcase I retrieved that small box, as I had many times before, grasping it in my hand before retreating to the bed I lay there with my eyes closed willing the images of Bella away.

It was official, it was over, I'd lost, she'd never be mine again. No matter how much I was still in love with her. And it was my own damn fault.

I knew I'd fucked up the day it happened. The thought of the crushed, confused look on her face, sickens me to this day. I thought it was for the best though. She'd head off to college free of me, I knew that I would just hold her back, keep her from growing into the person she was supposed to be, keep her from having all those experiences everyone is supposed to have in college, in life. Alice kept me up to date on Bella's life, I knew that the summer I left was terrible, Bella completely lost to the world, but she made friends at school and it got better for her. Not for me though. I was miserable in Europe, traveling alone, I thought of her constantly. I had a stash of gifts that I'd bought her along the way, I hoped that someday I'd have a chance to give to her.

And it got worse after the call.

I hadn't taken my cell phone with me. I didn't want that easy way to connect back, it had to be a clean break, it was only fair. My dad had been pissed when I said I wasn't taking it, but I promised to check in at least once a month. I'd been gone two months when my parents told me my mom, Elizabeth, was sick. I called again two weeks later, a diagnosis had been made, it was cancer, and the tumor was inoperable. My flight home was already scheduled for a week later, my parents told me to wait it out. It was the longest week of my life, my Europe trip had already sucked, this made it worse.

When I arrived home my mother's room smelled of strawberries, freesia and freshness, like laundry soap, Bella had been there before heading south to California. My mother told me she'd been around a lot during the summer. Of course she would have been. Our mothers were good friends, had been since they were kids, Elizabeth loved Bella and the feelings were mutual. Bella had been around to help out when she could, between practices and her job at Newton's Outfitters.

Another week later, I headed out to New York, Carlisle helping me get settled while Elizabeth stayed home to continue her treatments. I made it a month and a half, before returning home. The chemo and radiation wasn't working, the cancer had spread, the prognosis wasn't good. Being 2,500 miles away from my mother while she died wasn't bearable.

Living back at home made me miss Bella more, especially in a town as small as Forks. I could practically see her, with the memories that would assault me everywhere I turned. I would have desperately regretted my decision to give her space if it weren't for Alice.

Of the four of us, Alice and I were the only ones still in Forks, we ended up spending quite a bit of time together, once she forgave me for hurting Bella. She could almost see my side of things, though she still didn't think it was the right thing. Telling me it was "typical Edward" of me, to be so thoughtless of how my decisions affected others. Alice kept me in the loop on Bella's life, which only justified my reasoning in my mind. The stories she told me rarely seemed to reflect "my" Bella, and told me of how wonderfully her life in California was going. Bella joined a sorority, went to parties, dated, all the things I wanted her to be able to do. Still every story hurt me, knowing that I wanted to be doing those things with her.

As much as Alice tried to convince me that I'd done the wrong thing, I knew I was right. That knowledge didn't make it hurt any less.

By Thanksgiving, Elizabeth had decided to stop treatments, reluctantly my father had agreed to hospice care at home. The treatments hadn't been successful, the tumors were spreading and the chemo just continued to make her sicker and weaker. She knew she was dying and wanted to make it as comfortable and easy as possible. It was a painful decision for all of us and all I wanted was Bella by my side, but I couldn't be selfish like that and tell her. I knew she was home too, so I avoided her at all costs, I hardly left the house that weekend. Sunday, Emmett finally convinced me to meet up with some high school buddies for a game of touch football, we were gone the entire afternoon.

When I got home I was greeted by Bella's scent all around my house, it was strongest beside Elizabeth's bed. Looking at my frail sick mother, enveloped in the soft scents of the woman I loved, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt sick, my heart hurt and I couldn't stop the tears that fell from my eyes. My mother knew, like she always had. She removed the engagement ring my father had given to her 20 years earlier, "For Bella," she said softly. It was one of the last things she said to me.

Less than a month later Elizabeth passed.

Bella didn't come to the funeral. She called Carlisle with her apologies, she was in the midst of finals. I had to believe that she wasn't simply trying to avoid me, know that she would have wanted her chance to say goodbye to Elizabeth. She had send a letter, I could only guess to give condolences, Carlisle never let me see it, though I know it's something he kept to this day.

I never went back to New York. It was just my dad and I, and I just thought I should be closer, I transferred to UW Spring semester. So many times since that Sunday after Thanksgiving, I'd pulled out that ring, kept in a box my father found when going through my mom's things, and hoped for an opportunity and the guts to take it. When I saw her before last Christmas, I just knew I had to go for it.

Stalking her probably wasn't the best way to go about it, and that's pretty much what Chief Swan told me, as I sat there in my Volvo across the street from their house, ring box in hand. I was staring at the ring. I didn't even notice him leave the house, I jumped when he tapped on the glass. "I don't wanna have to arrest you, son," he said when I rolled the window down.

I nodded, flipping the box closed quickly, "I screwed up."

"Can't argue with you there." I had always liked Charlie, he was a no bull shit kind of guy, played it straight and always told you the truth, no matter how brutal. He also loved Bella so completely and would do anything in his power to see his daughter happy.

"I still love her," my eye were still trained on the box.

Charlie nodded his head toward it, "You wanna give that to her?" His voice was steady, not conveying any of the incredulity that I thought it would.

"It was my mother's."

I thought for sure he'd tell me where I could shove it, knowing how much I'd hurt his little girl. But, he didn't, instead he said, "It might not be that easy, son."

"I know. I just want a chance to tell her. To let her know. You know?" I rambled on, feeling the stinging of tears behind my eyes.

"You just gotta be patient."

I don't think I did patient to well. But she caved, agreed to talk to me. Thinking back maybe I came on too strong that night, too forward. But, she had me so stressed, confused. The closeness of her in my car, the smell of her, I was overwhelmed. I screwed up again, that was it.

Then I saw her, by the pool yesterday. This was it this was my chance, I knew it. The feeling intensified when I saw her at the bar. I watched other men circling, like vultures, waiting for us to leave our prey, but not tonight. I wasn't jealous, I was resolved, I was going to go after what I wanted, no needed. I needed Bella. I waited for my chance. I was not going to screw this up again, I was taking my time, easing myself into it.

Then she told me that I broke her heart.

My breath caught in my throat, my heart stilled, and I knew my chance was over.

Now I was lying here, the weight of the box in my hand becoming heavier and heavier, weighing on my mind. I was trying like hell to remember how we got from her heartbreaking confession, to naked in bed in roughly 12 hours. Ah, the glories of alcohol. I knew I should have stopped drinking earlier, but the alcohol was helping to calm the nerves I felt being so close to her. My nervousness always made me impulsive which I figured was a bad thing with the one thing I desired so close to my grasp. Although, if I'd stopped drinking, maybe I would be able to remember a little more.

_What did I remember? Think Edward think._

I struggled. Another bar, more drinks. I was alone Emmett and Jasper had hit the card tables with the girls. Out of nowhere, Emmett had approached me, "You can't avoid her all night."

"She doesn't want me around," I slurred, slightly more whinny that I'd ever want to sound in public, but I'd had a lot to drink.

"Dude, don't be such a fucking pussy."

Emmett spoke the truth of course, and gave me a bit of a pep talk, I can't remember what he said, but, it worked I guess. I'd joined the group, liquid courage still in hand, just needing to talk to Bella. Still it wasn't as easy as that, Rosalie was fully cock blocking me. I knew that she'd had a big part in rebuilding Bella after I'd hurt her so throughly and I greatly appreciated her for that, but, I knew if things were up to her, I'd never get anywhere near Bella, not just tonight, but ever. I wasn't going to relent though, till I had said my piece.

Suddenly Rosalie and Emmett were gone, giving me my chance, I don't know how he had done it, gotten the two girls apart, but, I wasted no time. I took her arm and lead her gently out of the casino, giving Jasper a slight nod as I approached, when she didn't fight me I figured it was a good sign. "I love you, Bella," I plead, slurring my words, "Everyone else knows it. Please let me talk to you."

I'm sure the fact that Bella was completely obliterated helped my case, the two of us climbed into cab together. Her telling me, "I don't want to love you anymore, but I can't stop. What the hell is wrong with me."

_What the fuck!_

Bella told me she still love me last night. My chest tightened with this knowledge, my breathing quickened. I had to find her. Maybe we could do this, sort this out, make it work. I loved her and she loved me, it would all be OK.

I jumped up, pulled on a tee shirt quickly and a pair of shoes, forcing the ring box into the pocket of the jeans I threw on. Then I rushed to locate the key card for my room. I had to go to her now. I spotted the card on the dresser on top of a paper, which I glanced at while I shoved the card into my pocket. The words on the paper froze me in place, as did the sudden knock at the door. I grabbed the page, folding it roughly, before hurrying across the room to open the door, hoping Bella had come to me.

**a/n - so who's at the door??**

**this chapter was a little heavier than i expected it to be, ok, alot heavier. but it gave us some edward background, hope you liked it. let me know, review pretty please!**

**disclaimer, it ain't mine folks**


	7. Chapter 7

**a/n- again, thank you, thank you, to those who reviewed!! makes me all warm and fuzzy, also makes the story!! (bites lips as she admits this)**

**when i'm writing this, i'm kinda flying by the seat of my pants. the other story i'm working on i've got a plot line in my head this one, not so much, so reviews help to draw the story along. so wizziewoo123, there will be more drunk bella and rose, not this chapter but it's coming.**

**as much as it pains me, i own nothing.**

**two pov's this chapter, and we have a hear from someone new too, so here you go, hope you likey!!!!**

APOV

I was finally here, finally in Vegas for a weekend with my girls. They'd gotten a head start on me but I was determined to make it up. I bought a bottle of Jameson, at the duty free shop at the airport and hopped in cab and headed to the hotel. Jameson was Rosalie's drink of choice, I was much more a sweet girly drink kind of person, but Bella and Rose weren't and the Jameson, would have the desired effect and fast. And today would be a quick and dirty kind of day, my goal was to get drunk.

Rose had texted me all the room info yesterday, and told me that Bella and her would waiting for me there, so when I got to the hotel I headed straight for the elevators, the bell hop behind me with my bags.

There were two guys standing by the elevator bank waiting with their backs to me. Both guys were very tall, I mean I'm barely 5 feet so they both towered over me. "So, do you think we should go check on him?" one asked the other, the one speaking was thin, with longish blond hair, it nearly reached his shoulders. He was wearing a pair of cut off jean shorts and gray tee shirt and flip-flops, ugh, I wrinkled my nose at his wardrobe choice.

The other one was huge, dressed slightly better, at least from behind, in dark cargo shorts and an off white collared shirt, his hair was curly and dark, he reminded me a lot of my brother. He shrugged, "I don't know, I wouldn't want to interrupt anything. Or see any more of her than I did yesterday." I knew that voice.

_It couldn't be._

"Dude, she's fucking hot."

"She's like my little sister."

I leaned forward on my toes and craned my neck to try and look around him to see his face. Even better, the elevator doors were mirrored. It was him. "Emmett McCarty," I shouted in accusation.

He spun quickly, much more gracefully and agile on his feet than you would assume someone of his size would be. " Alice," my bear of a brother, lifted me up into his arms and crushed me in one of his hugs. I was awfully proud of my brother, following my fashion advice and all as he set me down beside Mr. Can't Dress, "Alice, this is Jasper. Jasper this is my little sister, Alice."

Jasper smiled, I think I smiled back, I'm really not sure. I just hoped like hell I wasn't drooling all over myself. Holy hell, the boy was beautiful. He drew me in with his soft blue eyes and nodded at me, "Are you just getting in?" he asked.

Yeah, it was a stupid question, the fucking bell hop with a cart full of my bags should have answered that, but he sounded like fucking Matthew McConaughey, sexy southern drawl. I melted. Where's Alice? Oh, that'd be the fucking puddle on the floor. "Yeah," I breathed. My eyes still locked with Jasper's. The sound of Emmett clearing his throat pulled me from my trance and I glanced at him quickly. His eyes were darting between Jasper and me, finally his eyebrows knit together as he shot Jasper a menacing look.. Emmett was going to play the big brother card.

I was waiting to see what embarrassing story he would come up with, or what ridiculous threat he'd use, when the elevator doors opened before. As we stepped into the elevator something occurred to me, "Emmett you don't seemed surprised to see me?" I asked. He didn't voice a response, just quirked an eyebrow at me. I knew I was on to something. Recalling something from the conversation I had overheard earlier, "Who's 'like your little sister'?"

"Um."

I drew in a slow breath as my eyes widened in shock, "Is Edward here with you?" I managed to squeak out.

"Uh."

"Emmett, what the fuck did you do?" I screamed forgetting the close vicinity.

"Well, uh," Emmett stammered. Jasper stepped backwards into the wall as my eyes flew over to him, suddenly he was fascinated by the carpeting of the elevator floor.

"Were you talking about Bella?" I asked indignantly, Emmett nodded. I covered my face with my hands and took a cleansing breath. Lowering my hands, I asked in that ultra calm voice, that is only used by parents who know their child has done something wrong, and are simply look for a confession "Where is Edward right now?" I was definitely looking for a confession.

"In his room?"

The elevator stopped on the boy's floor and they quickly made for the door, "Not so fast." I slapped a twenty into the bell hops hand and told him to go ahead and take my bags up, as I stepped out after the guys.

The were both standing sheepishly outside in the hall outside the elevator door, looking guilty as sin. "Where is he?" I demanded.

BPOV

I'm guessing that the smile that lit my face was enough to tell Rose how I felt about what had happened the night before, because she didn't ask. I was extremely grateful for that, because even if Rosalie was sure about what she thought I felt, I wasn't sure about anything. I'm not even sure I was making sense in my own mind. If anyone asks I'm blaming everything on the alcohol.

We ate our breakfast mostly in silence, the little we did discuss, were plans for when Alice arrived. Neither one of us was entirely clear on the details of the night before, and this really didn't seem like the time or place to try and hash it out.

"Alice should be her soon," Rose said in the elevator on the way back to our suite.

I nodded, "I think I might go for a swim."

Rosalie huffed, but didn't argue. She knew better, it was a stress reliever for me, quiet alone time where I could just think. And it was obvious I needed that now. "Just make sure you meet us at the spa on time, Alice will shit a brick if your late. And I really don't think I'm in any state to deal with an angry Alice."

I laughed, grabbing a swimsuit and heading into the bathroom to change, "I'll be there," I said as I closed the door.

Making my way down to the pool, I found it was already getting busy, I had opted against the bikini and was wearing one of my old competition suits, it was tight, modest black tank. The pool here wasn't really the best for swimming laps, but I figured I'd just make due. I hopped into the water, wadded out a little bit then lowered my body into the water. Pushing off with my toes from the bottom, I stretched my arms out over my head and kicked my feet. I started pulling my right arm down through the water, propelling me forward, then my left as I brought my right arm out of the water and to the front of me again, over and over again, while kicking my legs, till I had to turn around. It shallowed out too much for me to flip myself over and kick off against the wall, so I stopped and turned and set back out the way I'd came.

I continued back and forth across the pool, breathing only when necessary, waiting till my lungs burned before turning my head and inhaling quickly, then forcing my face back down into the water. The best part of swimming is the quiet. Once your head enters the water and your ears are submerged you can completely block out all other sounds if you want. That's why I held my breath as long as possible, when it was quiet it was easier to think, and the longer it was quiet, the longer I could think uninterrupted.

And of course I thought about Edward.

Though, I tried not to think about what might or might not have happened last night. What embarrassing things I might have told him in my drunken stupor. How it must of felt to have him close to me again. These were things I didn't want to think about, because I didn't want to think of what implications our time together might have. What all of it might mean if I would, or could, let it.

I couldn't help thinking about the way his eyes reminded me of a sunny day in Washington, they were the same color green as the trees when the sunlight hit them, it was the color I saw when I thought of home. I thought about his always too long, too messy hair, that was the strangest bronze color, reminding me of fall leaves. I thought of his soft fair skin, that was always cool to the touch, I always figured it was because he spent so much time outside, running, hiking, hunting, Edward loved anything outdoorsy. I think all the time outside must have affected his scent as well, which was always like the musk of the forest and fresh ocean air.

My thoughts mostly swirled about what he'd said to me last Christmas, that he still loved me. My memories of that night, the slight shutter in his voice, the fear in his eyes, caused a chill to shoot through my body. I knew that he was telling me the truth, I just couldn't figure out his reasoning behind it. I couldn't let myself hear another word about it. Of course I knew that I was still in love with him. I'd tried like hell to get passed it, to get over him. But Edward was ingrained in my soul, in every fiber of my being I loved him completely, I had ever since I could remember.

But it wasn't enough.

When he left, Edward had done what he always did, he made a decision and I was just expected to go along with it, he gave me no choice really. I'd spent more than 3 years trying to get over Edward Cullen, and he thinks he can just walk in say he still loves me and I'm supposed to fall back at his feet. Fuck him. I'd had plenty of time to figure out that that was not how healthy relationships worked, it had to be give and take between equals, not one person thinking they knew what was best for the other. His own mother had said that to me many times. But, that's how Edward and I had always been. And being in love with him wasn't enough to change that.

Elizabeth Cullen had always been so ready to point out where improvements could be made. Not in a harsh or bad way, just helpful, nurturing. She always tried to give you the opportunity to grow, to do better and figured if you didn't know where to change, you couldn't change. My own parents, though I loved them to death, we always happy enough with what I did, who I was, they were too eager to indulge me to have me always happy. It was Elizabeth's gentle pushing that made me apply to Stanford, my dream school, to contact the diving coach in attempts to get a scholarship. My parents would have been happy for me to attend the community college in Port Angles, hell they would have been happy if I didn't go to college at all, if that's what made me happy. But not Elizabeth, she always expected me to have it all.

Her nudging to for me to achieve the best, didn't stop at academics or sports, it carried over to personal things as well. There's no way Alice and I would be as close as we are if it weren't for Elizabeth. I had a fairly one track mind, Elizabeth constantly reminded me not to let things go to the wayside, Alice and I might have drifted apart a long time ago.

Typically she tried to keep out of Edward's and mine relationship, or at least appear that way. Not so much for me, but because it bugged the crap out of Edward that I would talk to his mom about us. Though she sometimes let some relationship advice slip, she'd be talking about someone else but I knew the words were meant for me to take in.

I'd listened closely to the things Edward's mother had told me, I'd like to think I learned a lot from her. Learned that being in love with him, wasn't enough to make up for breaking my heart. Learned that I deserved someone who listened to me, to my feeling, my thoughts, my opinion, not just me taking what they gave me. I hadn't found that someone yet, but I would.

Overwhelmed with feelings, my legs and arms pushed to the point of exhaustion, I coasted back to the shallows, sitting in the water with my head in my hands. Lifting my head, I stroked the locket hanging from the bracelet around my wrist as I always did when I was stressed and confused, hoping that her strength would lead me to the right answers.

The locket was Elizabeth's. She'd given it to me the last time I'd seen her, weeks before her death, but we all knew it was coming. It had always been a joke of sorts, that she'd give it to me on mine and Edward's wedding day, so when she removed it from her neck that day, I couldn't breath. I couldn't deny her gift though, I took it graciously and attempted to give it back to Carlisle on my way out, but he refused. She'd asked me only one thing, that I not "open it yet", she told me I'd know when to open it, I still hadn't. I kept it in a box until the day she died, then I began wearing it from my wrist, it didn't seem right to wear it around my neck like she did, it was a Cullen family heirloom, and I wasn't a Cullen.

I sat there in the water for a few more minutes, to tired to get up, not sure if my legs would carry me up to the room, when I heard someone call my name.

**a/n- so????? come on, please tell me what you think!!! (bounces up and down clapping hands together) review pretty please.**


	8. Chapter 8

**a/n- sooo, i'm kinda feeling like this chapter is a mess! there was alot I wanted to put into it, and then i put a lot into it and the program crashed and i hadn't saved it and i lost a bunch of stuff and couldn't quite remember what i had in there, anyway, yeah, total sob story. Plus I really just wanted to get it done and get it up here, cause i've been super busy "cakin" the last week, and in about 2 weeks we're going on vaca!!! yippie!!! so i won't be updating for a bit.**

**As always thanks to the reviewers, i check my email like a crazy person and having review alerts in my inbox makes my freaking day! even cc. I have some extra thank you's to add, hey random, thanks for the cc, i'm sorry that is chapter is probably an even bigger mess, i've been kinda out of it and just wanted to get past this chapter but felt it was too important a pov to leave out, and nessiesmomma, for all the complements and pimping out the story too.**

**i'm sure you all know that i don't own twilight, and that's ok, i just want edward. **

**EMMETT POV**

I owed someone an apology.

Things had gone to far last night. I had kinda thought that when Edward and Bella had left last night. It was became clearer when I took Rosalie back to the girls' suite last night, and Bella wasn't there. Now it was fucking obvious, as I watched my tiny sister pace back and forth, she was fucking livid.

I had managed to corral her into Jasper's room, mine was right next to Edward's while Jasper's was two doors down, I didn't want anyone who might be in Edward's room to hear us. A string of obscenities was flying from my sisters mouth. I had never heard her drop the f bomb so many times, our mom would be horrified, hell, I was horrified. Jasper had retreated to a chair in the far corner, his eyes glued to Alice. I wasn't too keen on the way he was eying her, but kicking his ass would have to wait, cause right now, I was in deep shit.

"What the fuck happened, Emmett?" Alice was shouting. "You fucking let him screw everything up. How could you let this happen?" Her hands were flying wildly about her as she continued to pace, glaring up at me. It might have been funny, if I didn't know how utterly terrifying my sister could be.

The last time I'd seen her this angry, it was because I'd vomited in her new Coach purse as she drove Bella and I home after a night of drinking. I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me at the memory. Her pacing had lead her away from me, she turned in slow motion, her eyes narrowed. "Exactly what about this do you find funny?"

I raised, my eyebrows, "Remember when I threw up in your purse?"

Alice exhaled in a huff, her shoulders relaxed. I could always break her with humor. There was a moment of tense silence, before she spoke softly, "It's not how he would have wanted it. He still loves her."

I breathed out a short laugh. She thinks I didn't know that.

There was a light knock on the door, Jasper hopped up to open it eager to escape the awkward conversation that was developing between my sister and I. "Hey," he greeted whoever was at the door.

"Is Alice in here? I thought I heard her."

Jasper nodded and stepped aside, allowing Rosalie into the room. She was just as beautiful as she was yesterday, wearing jeans and a loose fitting tank top, her blond hair pulled up in a ponytail. I shot her one of my dimpled grins without thinking and watched as Rosalie fought a smile in response moving her eyes past me to my sister.

"What the hell, your bags came up without you? We're supposed to meet Bella at the spa."

"You've seen Bella?" Alice and I asked in unison.

"Um, yeah." Rosalie was looking at us like we had two heads, "Do you guys do that a lot?" I guess we kind of did have two heads.

I shrugged sheepishly, while Alice asked where Bella was.

"She went for a swim about an hour ago."

"And?" I probed.

Rosalie looked up at me though her pale eyelashes, her blue eyes sparkling as she batted her eyes. She licked her lips before answering slowly, "And what?" My eyes widened as I stared at her. She knew what she was doing, I wanted to fuck her and then take her home to met my mother. This girl would be my undoing, I was going to ream Alice and Bella later for hiding her from me.

Alice rushed forward, grabbing Rosalie by the arm and pulling her from the room. Before walking out the door, she turned to me, pointing she said, "You fix this." It sounded like a threat.

I threw myself backward onto Jasper's bed as the door shut. Alice thought I was just fucking things up for the hell of it, but that wasn't the case. I knew Edward still loved Bella, I also knew something that I don't think Alice did. That Bella still loved him, and my loyalties in this mess, lie with Bella. Bella was the one who had been wronged and I just wanted to see her happy again.

Edward and I were buddies, we had been fucking thick as thieves though out our childhood, but he screwed everything up. He had hurt Bella and she never deserved that. Alice had forgiven him, I didn't have to forgive Edward, cause he'd done nothing to me, and I didn't have a vagina. I wasn't about to hold a grudge for something that didn't, technically, affect me. But if I had to chose a side, the only side I could choose was Bella's.

Bella and I had always been friends be default, we were in the same grade, ran in the same crowd and her and Alice were rarely apart, but we were never close, until that summer. I'd been abandoned by my best friend, her by her boyfriend, Alice had gotten a job in Port Angeles, we kind of fell into each other for distraction. Distraction for us equaled a lot of alcohol and stupidity, and we had a fun most of the time, but that sadness never left her eyes. I missed the way her eyes would sparkle and the music in her laugh. I missed Bella, cause after Edward left she was never the same.

Things seemed better when she got out of Forks, it was like she got better at living without him, the light in her eyes still wasn't the same though. Over the years Bella and I kept in better contact than everyone else knew. She had come to Austin a few times to see me play, I'd taken a few trips to watch her dive, we talked on the phone at least once a week, but not about him. I'd gone home that last Thanksgiving before Elizabeth died, cause Bella asked me to. She gave up a bid to invite only meet to be sure she could say good bye, and I missed a game to distract Edward so she'd have the chance. A while later I noticed that she was wearing Edward's mother's locket on a bracelet, but I never mentioned it. I think cause I don't come out and say the things I thinking, people tend to think I don't know or don't care, neither of which is actually true. Bella knew, but appreciated that I never pushed or pried for info and that was a big part of why we'd gotten so close.

I owed her. Anything that had happened last night probably was my fault.

I hopped up from the bed and ran out of the room, "Alice," I yelled down the hall. The girls were still waiting for the elevator, both their heads swiveled toward me, "You go talk to him. I have to talk with Bella." Alice's eyebrows lowered quizzically, as I caught the elevator door that had opened behind them and stepped inside. "Pool?" Alice nodded, "Ask Jasper what room," I called out as the doors closed.

I stood against the back wall of the elevator smacking my head repeatedly against it. I couldn't believe I'd made this choice. What the fuck was I going to say to Bella?

I should have just told her everything yesterday.

Yesterday, I shook my head at the memory, I'd seen Bella sitting there and I couldn't believe it. I was a little miffed that she hadn't told me she was taking a trip to Vegas, I had just talked to her over the weekend, but I was still happy to see her. And see her I did, I'd seen Bella in a swimsuit before; a solid, full coverage swimsuit, this was different. Guys were looking, and I couldn't blame them, Bella as always was in excellent shape and she was actually tan.

I sent some drinks over to her and the blond she was with, I asked the waitress what she liked, figuring it'd be something girly. I knew Bella wasn't into that shit, Bella was a serious drinker and had drank several of my friends under the table in the past. But I knew it would get her attention. She looked better than she had a month ago, I'd seen her when I'd she'd been in Texas with her team, less stressed, probably because her finals were finished and she was done with school.

I hated to rain on her parade, but I had to tell her the truth. That Edward was there, and based by the way he'd hightailed out of the pool, he'd seen her. The hurt was evident in her eyes, though she tried to hide it with humor, but I knew her hurt look too well. I got used to it that summer he left. In my mind Bella deserved better, but he made her happy and she deserved to be happy. That's when I nearly told her everything about how Edward felt, but at the time I couldn't, now I wish I had.

When I got back up to our rooms and went to check on Edward, it was obvious he'd seen her. I saw him quickly stash that box, that was always with him, thinking I wouldn't notice. He thought no one had any idea, but I knew what was in that box, put it together based on conversations I'd heard, mostly between my mom and his dad, Carlisle. His mother's engagement ring, fucking sap, and he didn't have the guts to just give it to her. Edward was an idiot when it came to Bella, another thing I should have just said, then.

Jasper, Edward and I had dinner reservations, and a limo for the night, and this trip was really about Jasper and Edward getting to know each other. Jasper had found a job in Seattle, Edward was still in school there and had an extra room. If they hit it off, Edward would offer Jasper the room, I figured Vegas was as good a place as any for a meet and greet and it'd be fun for me. I had no idea. Dinner was freaking awesome and as sulky as Edward was being him and Jasper seemed to get along alright. I guessed it was just as well that Jasper see how moody Edward could be if he was going try and live with him.

After dinner we'd stopped at the bar for a couple drinks before heading to Fremont Street, seeing Bella there had to be fucking fate, it had to be. She was trashed, completely trashed, in a dress that was like a foot too short and fucking heels that Bella could kill herself in. I'm guessing, Rose, the hot blond from the pool had a lot to do with the outfit, cause there was no way Bella would have picked this out herself. Edward's eyes were glue to his scotch, he knew she was there, he just refused to look. Once he did he couldn't keep his eyes off of her.

Bella was talking to the blond and gesturing wildly, when she raised her arms up I saw her dress beginning to rise. I ran across the bar, grasping her around the waist, just as her ass was about to be reveled. Bella turned and wrapped her little arms around my neck in a tight hug.

"Emmett! Rose, it's Emmett!" Bella squealed. Rose's eyes raked over me as a wicked grin was perched on her lips as she nodded in greeting. "I was just telling Rosalie the story of Monkey Man." Bella laughed.

"Ugh" I breathed out with a small grin. That explained the looks from Rose, I'd have to thank Bella for this later. Naked in a tree, not one of my finer moments.

A guy who'd been circling the girls quickly retreated once I arrived, Bella still hanging from my neck, and I swear Rose was undressing me with her eyes. I was getting jealous looks from half the guys in the bar. Bella released her hold on me when Jasper joined us, falling from my neck she stumbled before introducing Jasper and Rosalie. As Jasper ordered round of shots, Rosalie eyed me pointedly, "So, where's the Edward?"

Throwing the alcohol down my throat, I turned a death gaze on Edward who was still sulking in a corner with a scotch in his hand. I waved him over and he drug his sorry ass across the bar to us, "What the fuck, dude?" I hissed at him, before inviting the girls to join us for the rest of the evening. That may not have been my smartest idea to date. I think I realized that when I saw the hate in Rosalie's eyes when she was introduced to Edward.

We'd started checking out the casinos on Fremont Street and watched the light show. I guess the girls were inspired by the music or something. They had started singing some song and dancing,rubbing, touching. I swear Rose said something about me I getting in her pink. What the hell? They were going to start a riot, people were gathering to watch the show. Rosalie was shooting me the wicked grin again, I dropped my head to my hand. This girl was too much, and I couldn't touch her cause she was beyond drunk and I wasn't. I looked around I had realized that Edward had vanished again.

I left the girls at a blackjack table with Jasper, and went in search of Edward. I found him alone again at another bar, sulking and seething. I was fucking done with this crap, "You can't avoid her all night."

"She doesn't want me around," he slurred. I had known that Edward had drank more than usual, it shouldn't have been a surprise to me that he was fucked up. It was just so unlike Edward to drink like this, this was my chance if I was going to convince him of anything. And this is why, I owed Bella an apology, cause anything that happened between her and Edward, happened after everything I said to him.

"Dude, don't be such a fucking pussy." I had started. "Just do it already, tell her."

"I did. At Christmas."

I already knew that, Bella had told me, I was the only one she told. "She still loves you. You gotta apologize, beg for forgiveness, then tell her what you really want."

"You don't know what I want." Edward called out indignantly.

"You want it all, but mostly you want her. Everyone knows that. What everyone doesn't know, it that she wants you too dude. The two of you need each other. Now you just gotta fucking man up."

Edward was silent as he sorted though what I said and what I might have meant. "Her friend isn't gonna let me talk to her."

"I'll take care of Rosalie." Edward opened his mouth to say something. I stood and cut him off, "Just give her the ring already." His eyes widened in shock at the realization that I did know as I turned and walked back to the card tables with my goal to distract Rosalie.

The ding of the elevator as the doors opened, brought me back into reality. How the hell was I supposed to tell Bella this was my doing, and still convince her to give in and let herself love Edward?

**a/n- like i said, it's kind of a mess, but it seemed important to get emmett's view. leave some love, let me know what you think. i've got big weekend plans to sit and wait till i get to eat at the sonic that just opened up, then head to the bar, then a busy couple of weeks before heading to california!! (whoot-woot, can you tell i'm stoked about this trip i mentioned it twice!) i won't be updating, but trust me i'll be checking my email, my husband thinks i'd die without the internet and he's probably right :)**


	9. Chapter 9

A/N- so, it's been awhile... and this is a short chapter... sorry i suck. i've been hecka busy and has some wicked writer's block. next chapter is underway, hope you enjoy this one.

EDWARD

Pulling the door open, I was immediately disappointed. Really, I knew that it wouldn't be her, couldn't be her, but once the idea had crossed my mind I couldn't help but hope. I tried to hide the disappointment in my eyes, but I'm pretty sure Alice had caught a glimpse of it. I stepped aside to let her through, and was confused when Rosalie stepped into view and followed her in.

_Fuck._ I shut the door, turning I found both girls perched on the edge of my still unmade bed. Instead of yelling at them to get off before they diluted my memories of Bella lying there, I crossed the room and flopped onto a chair.

"So?" I asked, in a defeated tone.

Rosalie snorted out a humorless laugh as she folded her arms across her chest.

Alice shot a sharp look at Rosalie, before rolling her eyes and springing up from the bed. "So?" she screeched. "So? That's all you have to say?"

I stared at her in shock, unsure of how to respond.

"Edward, what the hell happened last night?"

"He took advantage of her, duh." Rosalie's voice was flat.

"What? I… no… that's not what happened." I stammered out my defense. Obviously it wasn't a very good defense, lucky I wasn't planning on being a lawyer.

"Oh, sorry. That's usually the conclusion I come to when my friend comes home after spending the night with a random guy and waking up in his bed, when she was obviously drunk." Rosalie's eyebrow was arched as she eyed me, bitterness in her glare. Suddenly her face softened and guilt washed over her features, she shot her eyes down to her lap, a soft sigh escaping her. "I can't believe I let her leave." I could barely hear the words as she spoke.

Alice dove to Rosalie's side, pulling her into a hug. "It's OK, Rose. "

Hushed words were passed between the two girls, while I sat awkwardly on the chair, not sure if I should be trying to listen in or not.

"Who the fuck does he think he is?" Rosalie hissed, her voice rising.

I couldn't take it anymore. "I love her!" I shouted, jumping up from the chair. "I've always loved her. Only her. I fucked up, I know it, but I would do anything, anything to make it right again. All I wanted last night, was to tell her that."

Rosalie scoffed, "Yeah, that's all you wanted."

"Rose," Alice breathed out sharply, effectively quieting her before turning to me. "Edward, what happened last night?" Alice asked softly, her arm still wrapped around Rosalie.

Swallowing thickly, my eyes ran over the faces of both girls, knowing that my response wouldn't be enough to appease them. "I honestly don't know." Shaking my head slightly, I cast my eyes down to the floor. "I don't really remember much. We were both really drunk."

"And you had sex with her." Rosalie shouted in accusation.

My forefinger ran a path between my eyebrows to the bridge of my nose several times, before I brought my palm down my face. Though she hadn't asked a question, I nodded at Rosalie. "I'm pretty sure we did."

Damn her, I didn't want to be ashamed or feel badly about having sex with Bella. I wanted to be screaming from the roof tops, hiring a fucking sky writer. I should be fucking overjoyed.

Should be; but, even without Rosalie's guilt inspiring looks- I wouldn't. I still would have felt shitty about my drunken one night stand, even if it if it weren't Bella I slept with last night. The fact that it was Bella, my Bella, made it twenty times worse. My stomach was still unsettled, the withering looks from Rosalie and disappointed ones from Alice weren't helping. The worst part was the folded piece of paper in my back pocket, the words on the paper had both sent my heart soaring and plunged it deep into the pit of my stomach many times.

"What do you remember?" Alice asked, her voice still low, like we were kids sharing secrets, and I guess we were.

"Start when you got in the fucking cab with her," Rosalie blurted out, still unable to contain her ire with me. Really, I couldn't blame her.

So I told them all I could remember, which wasn't much. A bit of discussion in the cab, a stop at liquor store, we sat on the curb together. There was still little memory of what was said, just the tone of her voice and her laughter; it all felt like a dream, it was completely surreal. Then, of course I told them about waking up the in the morning, reality crushing down. Rosalie's mouth was set in a thin line as I finished, while Alice looked as though she were barely listening, her eyes were foggy and far away.

"She told me she didn't want to love me, which means she still loves me." I attempted to rationalize, spewing word vomit waiting for one of them to react. "I just had to make sure she knew that I meant it. That I was serious at Christmas."

That did it.

"What the hell happened at Christmas?" Rosalie screeched.

Alice was brought back to reality, a questioning look on her face.

"I told her I loved her. I just wanted-"

"Wait. You did what? When?" Alice cut me off, a lost look on her face.

How the hell could Alice not know what I was talking about, she was Bella's best friend and, come on Emmett knew. She was playing me. Trying to pry out more information and Alice was good at that shit. "Christmas," I said disdainfully, my eyebrows raised in a silent dare for her to ask more.

Rosalie inhaled sharply through her nose and stood, hands on her hips. "Oh my God! You did, didn't you?"

"He what?"

"He did it, he told her that. Remember, you said she left Forks early, but she didn't come back home?"

"She didn't?" Alice asked her voice small and wavering, completely unsure.

"No." Rosalie shook her head authoritatively. "She came back the day before you, the day before New Year's Eve. But when you came home you were talking to her like you hadn't seen her since before Christmas, I thought that was weird."

"She called me the day after Christmas, said she was going home early." Alice spoke slowly and softly, as she took in what Rosalie was saying. Then they were both quiet for a moment, during which my eyes were trained on Alice still trying to discern what she knew. It was obvious to me when something clicked in her head, her face fell before she spoke. "She was gone for like 5 days?"

Rosalie nodded slowly.

"She didn't tell you, but, Emmett-"

Alice's eyes watered, "Emmett knows," she breathed out.

I stood there staring at her blankly, she really had no idea. There were several more moments of awkward silence, Rosalie and my eyes darted back and forth from one another to the crestfallen Alice.

"I haven't been a good friend to her, have I?" Alice finally spoke ever so softly.

My mouth dropped open. I willed words to come from my mouth, but none did. From the panicked look on Rosalie's face, I figured she was doing the same.

"I have to go Edward." Alice turned and darted to the door, Rosalie fast on her heels.

"Alice, no, you…" I trailed off as the door clicked shut behind her.

How many women were going to run away from me today.

BELLA

"Bella," came a deep voice from behind me.

I reached my arms out straight in front of me, extending my fingers in a full stretch before turning toward the caller of my name.

Emmett sat down beside me in the water, he was fully dressed and I couldn't help the eye roll and head shake when I saw him. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me tight to his side. "I'm sorry Bell," he said softly.

"For what Em?" From his soft tone I could tell that he meant what he said. He was totally sincere, I just couldn't imagine what he felt he had to be sorry for.

"I told Edward to go to you."

I let out a short, breathy and completely humorless laugh, while shaking my head. "Emmett, that's nothing to be sorry for. You didn't force me to leave with him, or have sex with him."

Emmett's eyes were huge. "You did have sex with him?" He asked incredulously.

"I'm assuming."

"Based on?"

I shook my head slowly.

"Never mind."

Emmett and I sat in silence for a moment as I stretched my arms, legs and shoulders, trying to avoid my muscles from tightening up too much.

"Still," he started, breaking the comfortable quiet, "I feel responsible."

I could feel his eyes on my face, searching for something, but I refused to look at him or respond in anyway.

"He really does love you."

I could feel the stinging of tears behind my eyes. "It's not enough Emmett."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Bella."

"Because, it's just not." The tears were now beginning to well in my eyes, threaten to spill over.

Emmett pulled me tight to him again, still talking in a soft voice. "OK, he screwed up. Even he knows that, but, what could it hurt to hear him out."

Honestly, I didn't have a good reason not to talk to Edward. Sure, he hurt me, but maybe that was all the more reason to listen to him. Maybe he could explain it to me, maybe then I'd understand and I could maybe forgive him or at the very least, forget him and move on. Move forward. The only thing that was keeping me from hearing him out was my pride. I couldn't let him have the power to hurt me again.

"You still love him."

I wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement.

Standing up, I stretched; my arms up over my head, rocking up onto my toes then back down on to my heels. Enjoying the pull I could feel in my muscles. Emmett stood as well, his shorts dripping and his shirt soaked to just above his waist.

"Geez Emmett, when did you turn into such a girl?"

"When you refused to be honest with all your girl friends."

He was right, I hadn't been honest with Alice or Rose, but how could I. Rose really didn't know anything Edward and I. There was really no way that I could have given her an unbiased view. And Alice, well, I had felt for the last few years that she was more on Edward's side than mine. I loved Alice to death, but when it came to Edward, I didn't feel like she saw things from my point of view, so I just didn't talk with her about him.

"Fuck you," I laughed, shaking my head. "Speaking of my girl friends, I have to go meet Rose and Al."

"I'll walk with you."

The two of us headed back toward the entrance to the hotel, grabbing towels, I quickly ran a towel over myself then wrapped it around my shoulders to absorb some of the moisture from my hair. Looking over I had to laugh as Emmett attempted to dry his cargo shorts, water still pouring from his pockets as we walked inside.

"I'm gonna kick that motherfucker's ass if he doesn't overt his eyes." Emmett grumbled.

I laughed again. "I just told you I had woke up in some dude's undies and that didn't bother you."

"First of all, you didn't tell me that, and well, I kind of wished you hadn't just done that now. Second, it was not some dude. It was Edward."

I buried my face in my hands, "Can we just pretend it was some dude?"

Emmett scoffed. "No."

Biting down lightly on my lip I stopped walking, turning to face him I asked, "Why does it matter to you, Em?"

He looked conflicted. "Bella, I just want you to be happy." Emmett was quiet for a moment, I could see his mind working, trying to figure out what he wanted to say and trying not to hurt or offend me. I eyed him curiously.

"Just spit it out."

"He makes you happy Bella, he always has. He loves you, you love him and yeah, there's probably a lot to work through, but the fact is that you love each other."

I shook my head, "Em." My lungs emptied in a deep sigh. "I've gotta get going, you know how Alice gets if your late."

"Bell, I'd never let him hurt you again, you know that." Emmett caught my eyes with his, giving me a soul searching gaze that I never knew him capable of. I couldn't tear my eyes from his, I knew he meant it, he would never let anyone, even Edward, hurt me if he could help it, and if anyone did hurt me he'd make sure they'd to regret it.

I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, whispering into his ear, "You're a good friend, Emmett."

He lifted me up and crushed me to his chest. "You too, Bell. You too."

A/N- reviews are hella awesome, leave me one... please.


	10. Chapter 10

a/n- so i was thinking maybe my problem isn't so much writer's block as it is my freaking addiction to sorority life, it's sucking my life away!!! i also decided that i really need to go back and restructure some things, holy crap there are some places where everything is a freaking mess, with all the pov's and i'm writing as i go with no real hard fast storyline. anyhow it's becoming a challenge for me to go back and try and find if i already mentioned something, so i'm gonna do that and hopefully it won't slow updates anymore than they already are.

also i'm hecka tired, and not sure of any of this a/n is making any sense. hopefully the chapter does though.

the twilight universe isn't mine *sigh* :(

**EDWARD**

I stood again walking to the door, placing my hand on the knob. It was about the fifteenth time I'd done that since Alice and Rosalie had left.

I really wasn't sure what to do next. Yet again, I walked back over to the bed, running my fingers down the sheets Bella had been tangled up in this morning. Sighing, I slowly lowered myself to lay where she had once been burying my face in the pillow and inhaling deeply the lingering scents of sex and Bella.

A muffled groan escaped me as I pushed myself back off the bed. I had to get out of this fucking room. What I'd do once I left it, I had no idea but sitting her going back and forth in my head was getting me nowhere.

Turning down the hall, I stopped at the first door pounding on it heavily in case Emmett was asleep, Emmett loved his naps and he sleeps like the fucking dead. He knew I'd left with Bella and he'd obviously seen his sister already this morning, yet by some miracle of God he hadn't turned up at my door. My fist dropped to my side as it occurred to me that maybe he was as pissed at me as his sister was.

Standing there, my head fell back and I closed my eyes, I stood like that for several seconds before knocking again; softer this time. My head was still pounding and I hadn't had anything to eat yet, that would probably help the rolling of my stomach. Finally I decide Emmett wasn't there or wasn't awake or just wasn't answering.

"Fuck." I breathed out slowly.

Fuck it, there was no fucking way I was going back to my room, there had to be something I could find to do, I was in fucking Vegas. I started toward the elevator slowly, passing another door. Jasper's room, I decided to try it; hell the guy was probably moving in with me in a couple months, he should get used to my shit now.

The knock I gave to Jasper's door was much less forceful than the one for Emmett and a moment later he was pulling open the door.

"You eat yet dude?" I asked, toeing the carpet as I pulled my shoulders up in a shrug. It was a fucking girl move and I half expected him to shut the door in my face.

"Rough morning?" he asked with a slight breathy laugh. He stepped back from the door and I heard rummaging from in the room while stood in the hallway. Shutting the door behind him, he started down the hallway and I followed behind.

We ended up at Pink Taco with me ordering way more food than I needed or usually ate. I was feeling terrible this morning, and I thought that maybe the food would help settle my stomach at least. Though really I knew that it wouldn't, nothing today was going to be that easy; that I was fucking sure of.

Jasper seemed to be a pretty quiet guy, which I was thankful for; it would make him easier to live with. The slience between us seemed comfortable, at least it did to me.

"So…" he drawled after the waitress had left with our orders. He reached up and ran his fingers through his hair as he slouched back into the booth seat stretching his legs out, he left his hands locked behind his head and his elbows out.

My elbows were on the table and I dropped my head to my hands, letting out a breath. "So…"

Talking with Jasper was easier than the slience had been, we'd talked about Emmett mostly; sharing humorous anicdotes, until the food came. I dug into mine like I hadn't eaten in weeks, while Jasper wasn't showing the same enthuisasum.

"You not hungry, dude?" I asked through a mouthful of carne asada.

Shrugging he answered, "Emmett and I had breakfast a few hours ago, but I'm from the south, nothing can keep me from Mexican." He pointed his fork at his plate and laughed, "Or what passes as 'close enough.'"

I shoveled another huge bite in my mouth. Still hoping that if I could just fill my stomach the uneasiness would pass, though my hope was fading quickly. It wasn't my hangover causing the knot in the pit of my stomach to grow or the muscles in my shoulders to tense.

One corner of Jasper's mouth slowly pulled up in a half grin before he went where I knew he eventually would.

"Where'd you run off to last night?"

There was nearly a repeat of events from the shower this morning as my stomach heaved. I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths. On the last exhale a slow, "Fuck," escaped me.

"That bad?" he asked, as he scratched casually at the stubble on his chin.

"Not till this morning." Again my stomach rolled. "Well, that wasn't even bad," I continued lamely, "until she left."

Jasper was slouched down in his seat again, arms folded lightly across his chest; he nodded at me ever so slightly, willing me to tell him more. Part of me didn't want to tell him anything, I didn't know this kid; but more of me was grateful to have someone to talk to, so I did.

"I… I guess… well, I know that I really fucked shit up with Bella. I just didn't think it matter so much now, or that it would hurt so much for so long. I just didn't think, you know?" I had stammered and stumbled and said too much, and when I finished Jasper was still sitting, relaxed waiting for more. And I gave him more.

"I love her. I told her that before, back then, but we were kids and I didn't even know what it meant then. But when I didn't have her, when I couldn't turn to her- not just for the bad stuff, but the good stuff too, ya know? I just, I realized what it was like to not have her and I knew that I really, really did love her. But it was too late, I thought maybe it wasn't, but I guess it really is." My head dropped back and my hands pulled at my hair.

We sat quietly for a minute while our waitress refilled our glasses and hovered long enough to make me uncomfortable. I began to fidget, drumming my fingertips on the tabletop while staring blankly at the plate in front of me.

"Why is it too late?" Jasper finally asked.

I splayed my hands out flat on the table before looking up. A soft snort escaped me, "You didn't see her face this morning."

"I saw it last night," he stated, eyebrows raised; almost as if he knew something I didn't and he was going to let me in on the secret.

I tipped my head to the side and shrugged.

"She loves you, man." He nodded as he spoke, like he was stating the most fucking obvious thing on earth.

And maybe it was.

I'd come to the conclusion myself, right. Bella loved me. But obviously it wasn't enough, something wasn't enough. She loved me and knew that I loved her, but she'd still ran away this morning. So I couldn't help but doubt everything I thought I knew and everything anyone tried to convince me of. Emmett and now Jasper, and what the hell difference did any of this make to Jasper anyway.

I shook my head, I was getting nowhere in my internal debate.

"Dude, I read people pretty well." Jasper must have thought my head shake was in response to him. "I can practically feel the love between the two of you; it rolls of each of you in waves."

"It's not that. It's just… I don't know." I paused heaving a huge breath. "So, she loves me. She loves Emmett and Alice too. We've known each other forever and maybe she's just not_ in_ love with me."

Jasper shoulders pulled up slightly as he shook his head once, pursing his lips in thought.

"I just…" I breathed out slowly, pushing my plate away and burying my face in my hands.

"You just what?"

"I just want her, I can't do it without her anymore," I whispered, my face still in my hands.

"Do what?"

"Live."

The two of us sat for awhile; Jasper slouched back against the seat, me with my elbows on the table palms covering my eyes. When the waitress approached again, Jasper asked her to box up the rest of our food. I paid for both of our meals since I'd dragged the poor guy out with me, I hoped I wasn't giving him the idea that I'd be a needy roommate, who felt the need to hang out with him all the time.

"Where's Emmett at?" I asked in the elevator.

Jasper coughed, caught off guard.

I couldn't believe I didn't think to ask earlier and by Jasper's reaction, and I wasn't sure I really should want to know. I probably should have let it go, but I'd already started down the road.

"What?" I demanded.

Jasper drew his eyebrows together. "Nothing, dude. Uh… I don't know where Emmett is." His statement was unconvincing.

"Where is he?"

Jasper shrugged, shaking his head with a dopey look on his face.

"Fine," I sighed and pinched at the bridge of my nose. "When did you see him last?"

One corner of Jasper's mouth pulled up as he smirked at me and shook his head.

As he opened his mouth to speak, the elevator doors opened. Jasper chuckled, "Saved by the bell."

I couldn't help but laugh too and I didn't get a chance to ask him again, because when we walked out of the elevator we couldn't miss Emmett's hulking form pacing the hall.

"I hope you haven't been doing that long, you've gotta be scaring other guests," I called out.

Jasper laughed, "Ah, he must not have been at it too long, security would have been called."

"Ha, you two are funny." Emmett deadpanned. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Jeez, mom didn't know I had a curfew."

"Fuck you, Edward. We need to talk."

**BELLA**

Alice and Rosalie were waiting for me when Emmett pulled open the door to the hotel spa.

"I'll talk to you later okay?" He said softly from the doorway, then he nodded in the direction of his sister. "Hey Al. Rose," he greeted with a cocky grin plastered on his face.

Rosalie shot him that wicked grin that she reserved for boys she was trying to get into her pants. Emmett's grin faultered slightly before he turned walking out of the door.

"Ew," I said, laughing as the door closed.

"Look who's talking."

"Hey Al, how was your flight babe?" I pulled Alice into a quick hug which she barely reciporated. "You okay?"

Alice looked off, the corners of her lips barely curling in a brief smile. "I'm fine," she answered flatly. "The flight was fine."

Something was up with her, I wasn't sure what, but assumed she'd heard what happened last night. Honestly, though I would have figured she'd be excited about something, anything, happening between Edward and I.

"Alice what's up?"

Her tiny body hurled toward me and she wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. "You know I love you, right Bella? You can tell me anything?"

My eyebrows raised as she pulled back as suddenly as she had embraced me.

"Um… I think I had sex last night?"

Rosalie burst into laughter, and the receptionist at the spa's front desk dropped her head pretending like she hadn't heard anything.

Alice frowned slightly, before answering. "I heard," her voice dull and flat again.

"Al, what's up?"

"Nothing," she all but barked at me. "I'm gonna go get us all checked in."

Once her back was turned and she was quietly talking with the woman behind the desk, I whipped around to Rose. "What the hell?" I whispered.

She shrugged.

"You so know what's going on."

Rosalie examined her nails while biting lightly on the corner of her lip, refusing to look at me.

I glanced between Rosalie overtly ignoring me and Alice's back, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. A sharp breath escaped me when Alice turned and the receptionist stood to lead us.

Five minutes later I was laying face down on a table completely nude with a towel over my ass, sure there was no way I'd be able to relax enough to enjoy my massage. Not when Alice was pissed at me and Rosalie was keeping secrets, and then of course there was Edward. The massuse came in an introduced herself as Kate, I sighed as she drizzled warm oil over me and began working out the knots my left from my swim and my stress.

I was so wrong about not being able to relax.

An hour later I was sitting in a hot tub completely blissed out.

I felt the water move beside me and opened my eyes to see Rosalie climbing in beside me.

"What the hell? You've got a fucking swimsuit on!"

Rose laughed.

"When the hell did you change? That girl just rushed me out here from the massage," I pouted.

"I wore my bottom into the room and carried my top with me," she giggled. "Bella did you go in there naked?"

"Yeah, that's how it's done."

Shaking her head, Rosalie laughed again. "It's not how I do it."

"Whatever."

We sat quietly for a moment, Rosalie still snickering at me.

"Rose, what's up with Al?"

Her head fell backward and she huffed lightly. "She talked to Edward. Well, _we_ talked to Edward."

"I'm not even going to ask why." It was my turn to huff.

There was another quiet moment between us, as we both stared straight ahead.

"What happened at Christmas?"

"Fuck." I turned to face Rosalie. "Alice didn't know about that?"

"No. You didn't tell her, or me."

"I would have thought he would have told her, and I just didn't feel like getting into it then."

"Which is why you…" Rose started slowly. "Where did you go to Bella?"

I covered my face with my hands. "Texas."

"So that's how Emmett knew?" came Alice's soft voice, sadly from behind me.

I nodded as Alice climbed into the hot tub on my other side.

"See, bitch. Naked."

Rosalie laughed. "Whatever, backwoods freaks."

Rose and I giggled, but Alice didn't fall for my attempts at distraction. A weak smile crossed her face for the briefest of seconds, before she settle into her signature pout and slouch. A posture that got her pretty much anything she asked for. Alice's brow was furrowed, and her lower lip stuck out ever so slightly; she'd draw one corner in between her teeth, then release it to chew slightly on the other. Her tiny shoulders were pulled up as she stared at me with sad eyes.

"Alice, you seriously didn't know?" I asked softly.

"How would I know?" Her voice was high, as she battled back emotion. I knew I had hurt her.

"You and him talk." I hoped my repentance was obvious as I cast my eyes downward, and offered a slight smile.

"Why Emmett?" she asked in a soft voice.

I shrugged and ran my fingers through my hair. "I don't know."

As I looked at Alice's face I noticed the way her eyes shifted away, the way she refused to make eye contact and in that moment something occurred to me. She wasn't asking, _why Emmett_, she was asking, _why not her_.

"I'm sorry Al, I really wasn't trying to keep this from you. I just figured you knew." Alice and Edward had been so close, and she was always trying to convince me to reconcile; forgive and not forget. Honestly, I figured she'd pushed him to do it, but I'd never say that to her.

"I… I wouldn't… Well I guess I might, but…" Alice stammered out. Her eyes were moist and she was actually trying to make eye contact now, it was me struggling.

I hated the fact that I had hurt her.

"I didn't," she finally blurted out.

"Didn't what?" I mumbled, staring down at the water swirling.

"I didn't tell him to do that. And I'm so sorry that you ever could think that I would. I screwed up-"

_Fuck, did I say that out loud._

"Al…" I attempted to cut her off, but she wasn't havinging it.

Her hand shot up from the water. "No, Bella, let me say this?" she pleaded.

I nodded slightly, giving her my blessing to proceed.

"I screwed up. I'm supposed to be your best friend, and I don't think I have been." Her lower lip was still intermittently being pulled between her teeth as she spoke slowly, thinking carefully about her words. Finally she looked down before breathing out, "I'm sorry Bella."

I opened my arms and Alice fell into to me, tear finally falling from her eyes as she whispered apologies again.

"Al, I should have talk to you about it anyway, not assumed, I was just kinda… I don't know."

There was a snort from the other side of the hot tub.

"Are you rethinking the whole 'spas in the buff' thing now?" Rosalie asked when we turned to look at her.

I flung my naked body across the hot tub, wrapping my arms tightly around her neck and grinding my boobs into her as I gave her a big kiss on the cheek. "Is someone feeling left out?"

a/n- so, yay for chapter 10? no? *shugs* let me know.


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